In my solitude

Billie Holiday, like a gust of fresh wind rolling through a cool winter day, sings a sweet melody about a melancholy state of being called solitude. In her own soulful style, she explores the highs and lows of sound by extending jazzed notes that represent memories, gloom, and love from the past. Maybe this dismal canvas of solitude depicts the emotional painting that many of us have traditionally experienced as solitude. But perhaps, there is another realm that the lyrics of this song do not express so obviously.

With the effects of a juice cleanse fresh in my system, and as I reflect on the other diet and life changes that I’ve made over the years, I have discovered that change is transformational and exciting. But there are also times when change can remind us of what or whom we left behind, and that can evoke bouts of solitude, which most people typically avoid. However, in this post, I intend to explore the positive and empowering face of solitude and how standing alone, at times, is necessary for living a full and joy filled life!

 Find solitude

The journey that each of us is experiencing can feel like a doodle or a scribble on a page. As much as we plan and intend for the events in our lives to happen, time reminds us that life can unfold in an interesting and unexpected series of events. Whether we find ourselves in this random ink blot of circumstances by our own conviction or by the irony of life’s imposition, sooner or later we will find ourselves alone. It is at that point that I’ve come to understand that moments of solitude can be an opportunity to either accept or reject a wonderful snapshot in time, where we can experience this God-given life without the distraction of the outer world or even our own inner crazy.

Perhaps fasting from processed foods, or severing a relationship, or abandoning self-destructive habits have brought you to a point of solitude. Could it be that the loss of a loved one has introduced you to this new uninhabited place? In any of these scenarios, I would encourage you to embrace the moment, and be open to what you find. In my own personal encounters with solitude, I found safety, security, love, acceptance, and peace. God is my master potter, and He never leaves me. His Grace holds me together when it looks like I might collapse in my own fragile clay. If it not for solitude, I would not have discovered the wells of grace and love that exist within me through my divine Creator. And for that, I am grateful.

Settle in

Once you find solitude, you could discover that your initial reaction mimics the Duke Ellington lyrics that Billy Holiday sings,

In my solitude you taunt me
With memories that never die
I sit in my chair
I’m filled with despair

But remember to embrace the moment. Don’t run from it. Never run. There comes a time to stop chasing towards what we think should be or running from what we think should have never been, and we instead learn to accept what is. Acceptance is the cocoon of life, the warm dark stillness, where we can experience God in the most intimate and transformational ways.

I recently took an aerial Yoga class where Yoga poses are done using silk fabric suspended from the ceiling. At the end of the class, we all take rest in Savasana inside the fabric. This by far, is arguably the best and most anticipated portion of the class.

As I lay inside my own silk-wrapped proverbial cocoon, I was in complete solitude —  surrounded by divine threads, covered, and lacking in nothing. You don’t need to take an aerial Yoga class to settle into this beautiful dimension of pure completeness. God offers us this opportunity with each day and with every passing moment of solitude, where we can experience His divinity and compassion for ourselves. So, get comfortable with going it alone, and learn to settle in with your Creator.

Take the next step

Be mindful and courageous, be still, and believe. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be. Even when life feels like a scribble on a page, know that God has a divine order of perfectly rounded edges and delightful twists and turns that might lead you to a place of solitude. As you explore the new environment, remember that you are grounded in grace, surrounded by stillness, and gifted with the chance to commune with God in a limitless space of love.

References

Ellington, Duke with lyrics by DeLange, Eddie & Mills, Irving. “Solitude.” 1934. In my Solitude: Billie Holiday’s Greatest Hits. London, UK: Decca Records, 1946. Album.

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